Order and Shipping 
We offer nationwide delivery within 2 working days for £4 per carton. 
Subscribe and get free freight for life. Cancel at any time.

Can I change my subscription? 

You can indeed. Just log in to your smartass account and you can manage your subscription there, too easy. 

Will TP breakdown in a Septic Tank? 
Absolutely! smartass is made from 100% sugarcane and bamboo fibre, as these fibres are shorter than timber, it will breakdown faster.

What’s up with the wraps? 
Since we sell directly to you via our website, we use recycled cardboard for our boxes and wrap the TP in our lovely smartass wraps, rather than plastic!

Where is smartass made? 
Our products are made in China. We visit our partners regularly, and we're proud to work with the best in the business.

Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in the crack!

Wiiipe out!!!

Well... we've sold out of smartass.
The last couple of weeks have been an interesting time for all.
We hope wherever you are, you're safe and well. 
The demand for toilet paper has ramped up and we've been wiped out,
'butt' we're doing everything we can to have more ready ASAP.

Join our newsletter and we'll let you know when we'll have our tree free toilet tickets available!

If you have a subscription, don't worry!
We've still got your backside covered and put aside all necessary stock,
ensuring your next orders will be fulfilled.

We encourage you to share the love with people who aren't able to leave the house, 
check on your loved ones and neighbours, and maybe share a few rolls!

The smartass crew